I've always thought of myself as pretty normal. I don't really stand out in a crowd. Until IF. Normal went out the window pretty quickly with that diagnosis. You've got the shots, the bedrest, the high risk, etc. that comes with most pregnancies following IF treatments; then came the miscarriage; then came pregnancy where I had terrible morning sickness, soft markers on H's heart that could mean Downs Syndrome, high blood pressure, carrying the jug around to test for pre-e, and low fluid levels causing an early induction. Not horrible things, by any means, but not what you would picture as a normal pregnancy.
This time is different. It's, dare I say, NORMAL. (Hello, did I just jinx myself?!) Seriously, though. My husband and I did the deed and got pregnant. Blood work and ultrasounds have all been great so far. I have been feeling pretty good over the past few weeks. Fluid levels measured high, yesterday. Blood pressure has been perfect. Everything is measuring right on track. The only thing I have to complain about are the back pains and the round ligament pains--you know, normal pregnancy stuff.
Here's the problem. I keep waiting for things to go south. I don't know why I can't accept that things are going just as they should. Of course, I'm over the moon happy about it, and I don't dwell on what could be, but I do occasionally think..."It's been too good to be true so far. What is going to go wrong?" Terrible, right? So I'm trying to change that. It's okay to be positive about all the good things that are happening! Just because we had a tough time getting the little monkey here doesn't mean that I can't just be normal again, right?! And I'm going to enjoy it!