Thursday, August 5, 2010

the rat race known as mommyhood

WOW!! I had no idea what I was getting myself into by having a baby. I mean, I thought it was all about having a little one to love, teach right and wrong, and share our lives with. Ha! Recently, I've realized what an insane competition it is here in mommy-land:

My baby did *this* by X months!
My baby doesn't even need to use *enter whatever "baby" product your child is too good for here*!
My baby walked, crawled, ran, sat up, talked, did a somersault, you.get.the.idea. before your baby did!
My baby has slept through the night since day 1!! (P.S. I don't believe you...!)
I could go on, but do I really need to?? 9

Why are people so anxious for their babies to grow up so quickly?? Or at least quicker than the other children their age? Stop worrying so much about what everyone else is doing. Enjoy it! Your baby walks? Great! Go outside and play with him/her! Your baby doesn't walk? Great! Go outside and play with him/her!!

I love getting advice from other moms. If I have a question, moms of little ones around Hampton's age are the first I turn to, but I'm not asking to compare my child to yours. I'm asking because I need help. Encouragement. A friend to say, "You're not alone!" Not one to say, "Wait, is Hampton already *enter whatever action your child isn't doing at 10 months here*?!?!" (with a shocked look on their face). It's so funny how people give compliments and throw in a random question in order to not seem competitive, but they obviously are checking to see if your child has done something their child has yet to do. I don't get it. Who cares?

But then again...I think Hampton has done well by hitting most of his milestones around a normal time, but it's hard to not say, "Is he behind? Is he ahead? Should I be doing what she's doing? WHY is she doing that?? I would never!!" See? I'm pulled into it without even realizing it! It's craziness, and I am trying to get away from it! I don't want to compete with all these other moms! I want to enjoy raising my little monkey and not care if he didn't do something at the same time as someone else's child or if he did something much earlier. Whenever he decides to reach each milestone is the perfect time!

I'm up for a competitive sports game or some friendly competition amongst friends on game night, but I'm over this rat race. Find someone else to play!

Love me or hate me, that's what's on my mind.
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Kristen said...

I totally agree! Babies develop so differently, who cares as long as they are healthy?! And I'm with you on that whole sttn thing, not likely :)

~Jess said...

I try to avoid any and all conversations discussing anything about DD, outside of general stuff. Which is hard because BIL's DD is 3 months older than our's and MIL is constantly saying what the other one did and what point.

It's hard. I gave up reading any parenting books because they just fuel the fire.